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I never felt so alone, that’s the reason why I don’t like being single. I know it’s the best for him, but it’s not for me. If I’m single, I’m single for 3 months at least. Also I know he’ll never see this and he’ll never know I wrote this.
I don’t like not being with him.
My weekend is now open and free. I don’t want or like my weekends to be open and free. I always had something to do on weekends and after school on Fridays. Now I have to go home after school on Fridays do homework, read a book, sleep, watching TV, or listening to music. Weekends, I’ll be at home doing the same thing I did Friday.
I don’t like crying over him. I think about him all the time and it makes me cry. I think about all the times we had together and it make me cry. The time he told me he was falling in love with me in my room shirtless. I couldn’t lay or sleep in my room. I couldn’t lay on my couch because the first time he came over for dinner with my parents, we fell asleep on my couch watching hangover. I laid or slept in my mom’s bed.
I don’t like not being in his arms. I felt safe, happy, and warm being in his arms. I felt like his arms were home to me. No one’s arms can do what his did.
I don’t want to feel like he’s going to not remember me. He said he would never forget me or get rid of me. I don’t want him to forget me or get rid of me. I can’t rid of him, especially after everything we’ve been through together. I thought he was like he did to his crazy sister, but he’s not.
Being around him made me feel alive and happy. Now I feel died and unhappy. I never felt happy like that with any boyfriend.
Nothing or no one will make me feel happy like he did. I did the old things I use to do that I stopped because it wasn’t making me happy. I use to write stories or write anything, dance, take photographs, and read books. When I was with him I started doing those things again.
I tired of everyone saying things will get better and they’ve been through what I’m going through. Things will only get better when I have him back from his time to think and what not.
Right now I need time to myself. I don’t want to be near anyone right now. I know that’s a bad thing, but you don’t have to deal with having a friend who’s bring you down and making you feel bad for her. I don’t want to be that friend right now. I don’t want to lie and say I’ll be fine or I’m fine. I’m tired of lying about how I feel.
I may go back to normal, but not anytime soon and maybe not for a while.
I’m going to take a break from blogging for a while. I hope you guys understand
Next Week
I was trying to avoid Ryan, dad, and Annabelle as much as possible. I didn’t want to tell dad or Annabelle about what the guy said to me. I didn’t want Ryan to tell anyone or freak out. It was very complicated and very selfish of me, too.I walked out of my room before Ryan got out of his. I knew I couldn’t avoid him for long because he was taking me to school this week. This wasn’t the best plan I made.
I ran into Matthew on the way out. At least it wasn’t Ryan.
“I’m so sorry, Matt. I was in a rush to get downstairs for breakfast before I’m late for school.” He chuckled.
“You will never be late when Ryan’s driving. He’s always on time for everything. He’s never late.” He said. Matt and I never actually talked because I felt like he didn’t want me here and didn’t like me.
“Um okay.” I started to walk down the stairs.
“Wait, Lacey.” I stopped at the second step. “From what I said or how I was acting toward you. I’m really sorry. I should be treating better especially after what you’ve been going through. I was hoping we could start over.”
“I would really like that, Matt.” I smiled and I walked down the stairs to the kitchen. Annabelle was cooking something, it smelled like pancakes, bacon, and eggs. If I was at home with mom, I would be making cereal for myself because mom would still be asleep because she’s too lazy to get up.
Annabelle turned around and saw me just standing there like a crazy person. She smiled and put two pancakes, two slices of bacon, some eggs on a plate and set a fork on the side of the plate. She set it on the island.
“Dig in. I hope you like it.” She wiped her hands on her apron. I sat down in one of the chairs at the island. I grabbed the plate and slid it toward me. She got out maple syrup from the one of the cabinets and put it on the island.
“It looks mouth watering, Annabelle. Thank you for breakfast, but you didn’t have to make this kind of breakfast. I would have had a bowel of cereal and a muffin.” Annabelle shook her head.
“Breakfast is the important meal of the day. The pancakes are multi-grain, the bacon is turkey, and the eggs are organic.” She smiled. This breakfast was a more healthy breakfast than whatever I had at home with mom. Mom always got sugary cereals.
“Thank you so much, Annabelle.” I grabbed maple syrup and poured some on my pancakes. I placed the syrup back on the island. I grabbed my fork and digged in. It tasted better than it looks.
“Would you like something to drink, Lacey?” I nodded my head. I swallowed the pancakes in my mouth.
“Yes please. Orange juice is fine with me.” She nodded her head, grabbed a glass from the cabinet, grabbed the orange juice from the refrigerator and poured me some. She placed it on the island.
“There you go.” I grabbed the glass and took a sip.
“Thank you, Annabelle.” She smiled and nodded her head. She continued cooking the rest of the pancakes, bacon and eggs. I continued to food my breakfast. I kind of felt like I wasn’t going to finish before Ryan came down.
“So, Lacey is everything okay?” I stopped chowing for a second and swallowed what I had in my mouth.
“Um, yeah. Everything is fine.”
“Okay, well you weren’t talking to Ryan, me or your dad.” Annabelle never turned around and stopped from what she was doing.
“Oh I’m sorry. I was trying to get stuff ready for today. I have to make sure I don’t forget anything on my first day of school.” Annabelle nodded her head. “It’s a weird thing I have. If I forget one thing, I have a bad day all day.” Annabelle turned around and looked at me.
“Your father never said anything about that.” She said.
“Well, he doesn’t really know. Well I don’t think he knows. It actually started in kindergarten. I forgot my blanket, I started throwing markers, pencils, and paint. I was coloring other kids. I was screaming like crazy. I was in “time out” all day. My teacher wasn’t sure what wrong with me. She knows I’m a good student, I’m very sweet, and I’m very quiet.” I explained to Annabelle.
“That’s very interesting and a little strange.” I nodded my head. “Okay, well get everything you need ready for your first day so you don’t have an episode.”
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I finished my breakfast as much as I can. I felt back that I didn’t finish all of my breakfast, but Annabelle said it was okay. She made me a lunch for today. That was really nice of her to do that. I wish I told her I could just buy my lunch from the school. But she would say it’s fine, she could make my lunch. Annabelle was like the mother I never had.
I packed everything I need for school. Pencils, pens, notebooks, paper, folders, and a book to read during lunch. I think I got everything I needed for school. I really wish I had my cell phone, but I had to leave it with mom because she thought it would be good idea if I left it there.
I grabbed my backpack and walked down stairs. Ryan was waiting at the door. He had a to go mug and a messenger bag. Looked like he was ready for whatever he did. I wasn’t really sure what Ryan did at the school. No one actually told me what he does.
“You ready?” Ryan asked. I nodded my head. “Alright.” He opened the door and I walked out waiting for Ryan to lock the door.
“Ryan, I’m really sorry I’ve been avoiding you. I thought it was the best thing to do, but it wasn’t. I thought you were going to tell my dad and Annabelle.”
“I would never tell mom or your dad what you told me. That’s something you should maybe tell them when you’re ready to tell them. That’s not something I would do. Ever.” Ryan explained. I nodded my head.
“Thank you, Ryan.” He nodded his head. “So I got a question for you.”
“Ask away.” We got to his silver Cadillac escalade. I walked to the backseat door on the passengers side. “Lacey, you can sit in the front.”
“Oh, sorry I’m use to sitting in the back in other people’s cars.” I walked to the passengers side and opened the door when Ryan unlocked the doors.
“So your question?” I put my backpack on the floor before I got in the car.
“Oh yeah. What exactly do you do at the school?” Ryan started the engine.
“I am the baseball coach.” I nodded my head. “It’s pretty cool. I told some of the guys on the team about you and asked if some of them could show you around the school.”
“Thanks, Ryan.” He smiled. “That really nice of you.”
“Hey, I got to look out for you. And so does Matthew, even though he doesn’t want nothing to do with you.”
“Actually he apologized. He said he was hoping we could start over. So now he’s not going to be like he was when I first go here.”
“He better not, I’ll have to hurt him.” Ryan winked at me and started driving.
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Ryan took me to the front office when we arrive at the school. The guy in the front had everything I needed, like my schedule, map of the school, locker code, locker number, and a paper all my teachers need to sign.
“Okay Lacey, I have to go. You can find me near the gym in one of the office.” I nodded my head. “Have a good day. See you after school.” Ryan smiled at me and walked away.
A guy came into the front office. He had brown wavy hair, brown eyes, and he was tall for his age. He was wearing a hoodie that wasn’t zipped up, baggy jeans, under the hoodie was a graphic tee, and vans shoes. He looked at me and smiled. He walked toward me.
“Hi, you must be Lacey, Coach Ryan’s step sister,” he asked. I nodded my head. “I’m Kris.” He held out his hand for me to shake.
“Hi, Kris. Nice to meet you.” I shook his hand. “Are the only guy on the baseball team, who’s going to show me around?” Kris shrugged his shoulders.
“I’m not really sure. I hope I’m not because Coach Ryan told us if we don’t show you around we all have to run laps.” I giggled. “Yea, so I hope everyone shows you around.” Kris smiled at me.
“Yea, we don’t want you to run laps when you don’t need to. But if you have to I’ll tell Ryan you shouldn’t run laps because you’re the only one who showed me around school.”
“Thanks.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kris was really nice. We had 4 classes together. When we were walking to our 2nd period class, he asked if I wanted to sit with him at lunch. I said yes because I didn’t have anywhere else to sit. I had a feeling that Kris and I were going to be friends. I hope we were going to be friends.
“Poor Mr. Jones.” Kris laughed as we walked to the library. Our 4th period was in the library because it was a study hall.
“Yeah, I felt bad for him because he couldn’t say my last name right. But he’s not the only teacher or people who couldn’t. No one could say it right before I tell them how to say it.”
“Yeah, but that’s an interesting last name. Gagliardi.” I nodded my head. “Sounds Italian.” I laughed.
“It is, Kris.” Kris put his head in disappointment. I patted his head. “It’s okay, Kris.”
“I’m part Italian and I didn’t know that your last name was Italian.” I giggled. Kris snapped his head up and looked at me. “Don’t laugh or giggle at me.”
“What are you going to do if I do?” He stared at me then tried not to smile, but smiled. “Ha. You’re not going to do anything.”
“Well no one, but they’re not normal like you and me.” I was more confused on what Ryder was talking about. First he says I should be care because he was dangerous. Now he says that Hannah and Jayden are not normal like me and him. I know Jayden isn’t like me. He’s very different and special (I guess). I walked to my locker to put my books I didn’t need until my 3rd, 4th, and 5th. I saw that Jayden was leaning against my locker. I smiled. I was kind of happy to see him. I wanted to know if he was okay.
“Hey, Lexi.” He said as I approached him. He had a big smile on his face.
“Hey, Jayden. Are you okay?” Jayden moved a little so I could open my locker door.
“What do you mean?” Maybe he doesn’t remember what happened yesterday.
“You were kind of upset yesterday.” Jayden had a confused look on his face. I sighed. “Never mind.” I closed my locker door.
“No tell me what you were going to say.” The bell rang. “Tell me before you go to class. I’ll even walk you to your class, Lexi.”
“No, it’s okay Jayden. I’ll just tell you at lunch or something.” I started walking to my class, but Jayden grabbed my arm to stop from going anywhere.
“Please, Lexi.” He said. I jerked my arm away. “Please.”
“I have to go to class, Jayden.” I walked fast to my 1st period. I wasn’t sure if Jayden was going to his 1st period. I wasn’t even sure if he moved from the spot I left him.
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I walked to my locker after 1st period. Usually Jayden is here, but he wasn’t. Odd. I was wondering where he was. Hopefully he went to his 1st period.
I opened my locker door and grabbed my 2nd period books and notebook. I closed my locker door when I grabbed all the things I need. I jumped when I saw some guy standing in front of my locker door. He kind of looked like Jayden, but a little muscular and instead of green eyes his eyes were gray. This guy had dark brown hair, not like Jayden who had light brown hair. This guy looked like he was the same age as Jayden, which I still don’t know.
“Can I help you?” I asked him. He smiled and snickered.
“I’m Gabriel, Jayden’s twin brother.” That makes more sense. They kind of look like with some differences. “We’re fraternal twins if you’re wondering.”
“Oh okay. Anyways what can I do for you?” Gabriel kept staring and smiling.
“Have you seen him?” He asked. I shook my head. “How about Hannah?”
“I’m hoping I don’t see her today.” Gabriel’s smile disappeared. “Sorry, she doesn’t like me very much.”
“Yeah, she talks about that a lot.” I didn’t say anything after Gabriel. Hannah talks about how much she doesn’t like me to Gabriel. “She’s very jealous of you.”
“Jealous of me?” Gabriel nodded his head. “Why? How?”
“Can’t say. I promised her I wouldn’t say anything. I wasn’t supposed to tell you that.”
“Then why did you say anything?” Gabriel shrugged his shoulders. I walked away from Gabriel and to my 2nd period class. Jayden wasn’t tell me anything about himself except telling me that he was a shape-shifter.
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After 2nd period, my teacher stopped me for a couple minutes to talk about what happened to Hannah and me. I told him I didn’t want to talk about it and she didn’t like me for no reason. I didn’t do anything to her. He was very concerned about me. I told him not to be, I’ll be fine.
I kind of hate when teachers are worried about you. I know they’re trying to help you, but they don’t need to. I don’t need anyone’s help.
I walked to my locker and Jayden was leaning against it. He didn’t look happy about something. Hopefully it has nothing to do with Gabriel and Hannah.
“Hello.” I said when I got to my locker.
“Hi.” Jayden moved away from my locker. “Did my brother come talk to you?”
“Yes.” I opened my locker door. “He was wondering where you were and if I’ve seen Hannah.”
“Of course he would ask about Hannah.” I was so confused or missing something.
“Am I missing something here?” I looked at Jayden. He was looking away from me. Jayden probably didn’t want to get me involved with this crazy thing.
“It would be better if you didn’t know any of this, Lexi.” I nodded my head a little and put my 2nd period books in my locker. “I wish I didn’t get you involved with this whole thing.”
“Why’s that?” I asked when I grabbed my books for 3rd period.
“Well, my family wants to know why I told well showed you what I was. My brother Gabriel thought it was stupid that I showed you, Hannah wants to kill me and hurt you, my father doesn’t respect me anymore, my mother is worried about me, she thinks I’m in love with you, my older sister is also worried about me, and my baby sister doesn’t know what’s going on.” Jayden explained. I didn’t know he had such a big family. I have a big family, too. But Jayden’s family was passing on the shifting to more family members. Wait did he say his mother thinks he’s in love with me.
“Wait did you say your mother thinks you’re in love with me?” Jayden quickly looked at me and blushed.
“Yes, I did. She thinks I’m in love with you because I care about you very much. You’re my best friend, Lexi. I never really had a best friend.”
“How come your father doesn’t respect you anymore?” I asked as I closed my locked door and leaned against the door.
“It’s a family secret and I broke it.”
“It was kind of my fault. I saw you change from a wolf.”
“Yes, I know but I told them that. It doesn’t matter apparently.” I looked down. “Lexi, it’s fine. I’ll take the blame for everything.”
“But you already are, Jayden.” He nodded his head. “I’m really sorry, Jayden.”
“It’s fine, Lexi.” The bell rang. “I’ll see you at lunch.” I nodded my head after Jayden walked to his class. I sighed and walked to the direction of my 3rd period class.
Hannah was standing front of the door of my 3rd period class. She had a evil smile on her face. Great my day was going to be bad all day.
“Hello, Lexi.” I wasn’t scared of her. I will never be scared of her.
“Hello, Hannah.”
“I heard you talked to Gabriel today.” I nodded my head. “If I were you I would stay away from Gabriel and Jayden.”
“Why?” I asked.
“You’re in something you shouldn’t be in. It’s between my family and Jayden’s.”
“Why are you part of this whole thing?”
“I’m Jayden and Gabriel’s cousin.” I eyes widen. “Yes, Jayden and I are cousins.”
“But everyone said you guys dated.” She started laughing. “What’s so funny?”
“Yes, I know everyone said we were dating. Jayden and I were really close once upon a time.” I think Hannah doesn’t like me because Jayden was getting closer with me and doesn’t spend time with her anymore.
“Hannah, do you not like me because Jayden was hanging out with me more than you?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“But I want to know why you don’t like me.” She glared at me. “Please. I didn’t do anything to you.”
“You did everything. You’re ruining everything I had with Jayden, you’re making my family fight.” Hannah yelled at me. I actually didn’t do any of that stuff. Jayden got me involved in this. I would have took the blame for everything I did.
2 pairs of 3 parallel lines, and then the MAGIC HAPPENS.
I feel like today is going to be a good day, but also a bad one.
I swear, some crystals spelled with a “C” are so fucking stupid and annoying. I know two Crystals. One is married in high school to someone who’s in the military. The other one is stupid and annoying. She bleached a streak of hair, thinks she knows everything, starts drama, and is a little bitch.
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You can say all the shit you want about my blog or me, but that’s not going to stop me from blogging or living. Nice try
♥Alex.The.Princess♥
Posted by ♥Alex.The.Princess♥ on February 8, 2012 in Random and tagged Alex.The.Princess, blog, blogging, comments, shit.
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